Old versus New

Dear David
Thank you for your email. Ive decided  this evening to do some blogs and your question was the first i saw, With regards to your relationship and how you feel afraid of speaking your truth to your new partner. From what you have told me she seems to be a gem of a girl who likes you very much. I know that at the beginning of any relationship there is always an element of fear and doubt but the mistake that some people make is comparing there new partner with the old . Now this is a huge mistake. You see what happened in any past relationship should have no place in your now or your future. Every single day someone somewhere is walking in and out of relationships. You both have children this can sometimes be a bit difficult yet im not seeing any hassle to come around any of you and i also feel that her children will love you anyway you have nothing to fear. The problem i feel here is that you have been so used to being on your own that you created habits that you are always saving your ex out of some situation or another the need to let her go and let her stand on her own is huge here .For you to move forward and make new life plans with your partner and also this shows that you respect and care about your future together.
Its all been just habit the last few years youve allowed someone else dictate how you would live even though they are happy to get on with there own life. Yours felt like nothing changed apart from you no longer live in the home. You flung yourself into work so to distract yourself keeping as busy as you could but now life has brought new love and the offer of new life that comes to you now. Dont make the mistake of letting the past or anyone else dictate what you can do. The skys the limit why? Because this is fresh and new like a clean canvas you and your new partner  can create the very life you want including your children.

I also feel that your ex seems to enjoy the fact that you are there to cover any bills that may arise this is called using . This person seems to have life pretty down pat and knows exactly how to play every situation why because they were the ones who told you to leave ,they held control now things are changing and they are going to have to step up and fend for themselves as you are not a bank machine nor are you married to this person anymore you are officially single with the prospect of having a really long lasting relationship with your new partner. And "yes" your ex is with someone now quite some time actually so you do not need to feel guilty. She has hidden this well as she doesn't stay in the area. So there is your answer my friend you have a beautiful new life of real love and laughter ahead of you so make the time for her she will be there to lift your heart when youve had a good or a bad day. This woman will change how you have viewed things and probably has already done so. So dont be afraid to get out of the old past habits and dont fear what others may think this my friend is YOUR LIFE and heaven knows life can be so very short lived. So live Laugh and Love your new Life you deserve to be happy.The old life has nothing to offer you only stale emotions and loss. Live today and tell that lovely girl exactly how you feel. You deserve this .
Be happy make each and every day that you live and breath count for both of you.

Blessings Fiona